Cute Girls and Kids

Is it wrong to charge your friends/siblings to baby sit their kids?

Okay, so the answer is probably, “Uhhh…. YES!” which makes me a terrible human being.

BUT…

I have zero patience for kids of a certain age. I LOVE babies and I can deal with kids 7 and up who have mostly learned how to be well-behaved by then. But kids ages 2-6 are little monsters, and I don’t mean that affectionately Ms. Gaga.

It’s not that I’m like a neglectful, abusive babysitter, who if the kid is bad I lock them in the closet or some crazy shit. I just get that feeling… You know the one, where you feel mentally, physically and even emotionally drained, usually after a very serious event or a terrible day at work? Yea, well that’s how I feel about five minutes into babysitting a little monster.

So, recently my sister asked me to babysit her daughter who is ADORABLE, but very much in the monster stage. And then she added in she wanted me to do it overnight. My rate is actually pretty fair for friends./family. It’s ten dollars for a whole day and twenty for overnight (more for overnight because the kids NEVER LET ME SLEEP). 

But I got to thinking, “Maybe I shouldn’t charge her?” 

I mean, it’s my niece you know. And even though she drives me crazy sometimes and frequently tells me to “get out of my mommy’s house!” whenever I visit and likes to scare the shit out of my cats and has an unfortunate obsession for going into my purse and taking the important things in there and RIPPING THEM TO SHREDS, she’s still my niece. So, maybe I should just babysit her out of the goodness of my heart?

Yea….. No.

I’m sorry, but the more I experience time spent with kids of a certain age, the LESS I want to have kids of my own. I don’t hate kids, I just have a limited amount of patience for someone else’s misbehaving monster.

And then I think, well what if my kid is like that? What if my kid destroys my stuff and never listens and tortures my cats? It scares me, cause then I think, “Well, if I feel this way now, when I have kids I’ll probably feel this way ALL the time and then I’ll become a terrible mother, cause I’ll probably drink a lot or take a lot of Zoloft or call Nanny McPhee & instead of waiting for her to work a miracle I’ll just give her my kids and leave.

Fucking hell.

So, this means I most likely won’t be reproducing. This is probably a really good thing. I mean, I wasn’t exactly a little angel myself, so I’m possibly sparing the world from more self-involved, neurotic, emotionally bi-polar weirdos…. who are cute!

It’s probably for the best.

Bye sweets. <3