The Award for Most Useful Phone App goes to...

My Fitness Pal! yay.

Okay, like just about everyone else in the known universe, one of my New Year's goals is weight loss. Something that I know to be damn useful (but is something I always forget to do) is to record what you eat and keep track of calories. This way you can be sure you're eating enough and that you're eating right.

My fitness pal helps me do this! And the good news is, it's much more fun than having to write it down by hand. Plus, it's really easy!

And it's FREE!

What you do is this:
After downloading, you fill in your info such as height/weight, as well as weight loss goals. 

Then, it gives you the option to add friends so that you can all keep track of each other's progress as well as motivate each other. (This is seriously useful. Especially if you're one of those people who has that friend that you always find yourself competing with...)

And then... ta dah! You are now on the homepage where you can begin recording your food and your exercises as well as a few other things. 

I would post a screenshot of mine except... it's empty. lol

I haven't really started yet. /lie

Okay, I did start... but I forgot to add dinner. And then it was the next day and I forgot to add breakfast.

Fucking hell. :x

However, this is because I've been sick the past couple of days, so I have an excuse, okay?

Anyhoo, will officially start tomorrow, which is exciiiting!

Hopefully, I'll actually accomplish my weight loss goals this year instead of putting it off indefinitely like in years past. Whoops.

Bye sweets. <3

Good News

(Didn't get around to posting this before.)

I feel as though with every passing day I am closer to becoming my favorite version of myself.

I used to be more kind, more patient, more forgiving, more open, less judgmental and generally all around better (apart from all my emo bs… but that’s a different story).

Over time, I’ve grown harder. I don’t let people in easily. I can tell my cautious nature puts people off and makes them think I’m some sort of bully or mean girl. But honestly, I got hurt in the past by people because I was too trusting. Now, I want to be sure a person is worth it before I let them get under my skin.

It’s rational, yes, but I don’t like that I give off this off putting vibe to others. 

The up side is, people who have been there for me for nearly my whole life and who I know I can trust, view me in a positive light. I know I am truly loved and I love these people with all of my heart.

Maybe that’s another reason why I hesitate to let anyone in. 

I already have so many incredible and amazing people in my life who I am so so so thankful for. I feel greedy for seeking out more. And I think I worry I won’t have time for everyone if I keep letting people in.

Another thing that’s happened is I’ve become more selfish, but not with everything. I don’t mind sharing certain things and with certain people, I’ll share anything. 

But if it’s someone I don’t know as well, regardless of how trustworthy someone else thinks that person is or even if we’re distant relatives, I will still struggle with sharing with them ESPECIALLY if it is something that is not easily/inexpensively replaced.

Unfortunately, this makes people think I am very stingy. I guess I kind of am, but I think it’s a rational reaction. Who feels comfortable sharing something like a computer or even living space (yes, this has come up…. fucking hell) with someone they don’t know well? 

No one. 

Even if that person is blood related it will be awkward. 

I have, however, learned how to be less paranoid. Which has made me more trusting of people I now know I should never have doubted in the first place. 

This is improvement.

I dunno, I guess it’s human nature to always feel there are parts of ourselves that we can improve upon. But I do admit that I miss being younger and less aware of the more serious things around me and more optimistic of the people that have come into my life.

The fact, though, that I can recognize what is lacking in myself and not only want to change, but to begin to change is something I sincerely value. I really am growing up and it’s not a bad thing.

And that, my friends, is definitely good news. 

Bye sweets. <3